## Fidelity (p252) **Generally low infidelity rates** — most men with AS remain faithful. When infidelity does occur, it follows distinct patterns: **Triggers:** - Need to feel "special" or desired (the primary relationship may feel empty of emotional validation) - Lack of attention from spouse - **Sensory attractions:** Men with AS who have affairs are often drawn to specific physical/sensory characteristics — "long dark hair or a special fragrance" - Once a behavioral pattern is established in AS, it is very difficult to change **Georgia & David case:** David admitted to having a girlfriend. When confronted, he justified it with loneliness and feeling neglected — Georgia was busy, he felt invisible. His explanations were logical to him but devastating to her. **Intervention:** Requires a competent, AS-knowledgeable counselor to have any reasonable outcome. ## Jealousy (p253) Though under-researched, jealousy in AS can be **intense and absolute:** - **Case 1:** A woman with AS threatened divorce and cutting off all contact with their child if her husband so much as *looked at another person*. The jealousy was absolute — no middle ground. - **Case 2:** A bright, logical man with AS could not forgive his partner for having a relationship *before they met*. Despite his logical nature, he simply said, "I wish she hadn't done it" — the fact existed, and he couldn't move past it. The pattern: black-and-white thinking applied to fidelity and past relationships. No gray area, no negotiation. **Source:** Lovett, *Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome*, Ch 9 (pp252-253) See also: [[AS Sexuality Intimacy]], [[Building Understanding AS NT Marriage]]