A support system helps with loneliness and managing life's challenges. For people with AS, building one requires intentional effort:
**Finding people:** Follow your passion (join a club), look for organized activities (softball, yoga), volunteer (choir, nursing home). Volunteering has the added benefit of doing good and meeting kind people.
**The golden rule:** Good relationships begin with treating others as you want to be treated. One-sided relationships won't work.
**Advice for using a support system:**
- Rely on yourself to seek support — go to a diner for coffee, practice smiling
- Seek help on work problems from the right person
- Make notes before discussions — 3x5 index cards
- Don't abuse your support system — each person has their own life
**The field analysis tool:** Draw circles for different life domains (work, school, social). List who you can turn to in each. Add what you can ask for (parents = financial, siblings = rides, friends = emotional). Add phone numbers. Identify gaps. Finally, identify what you can give in exchange.
**Caution:** Not everyone can be trusted. People with AS tend to trust easily — a nice quality, but some will take advantage. Vet people before deepening a friendship.
**Source:** Lovett, *Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome*, Ch 8 (pp207-225)
See also: [[AS Desires Relationships Struggles]]